Love Island 2019: Everything we thought about night one

The holy grail of reality TV is back and after night one, we can’t get enough of the drama.

If you’re anywhere but in front of the TV at 9pm for the next eight weeks you’re not living. For those who look down on the glorious show that is Love Island leave your criticism at the door, or just walk away now.

Ever since this year’s islanders were announced we’ve been making our own judgements about who will get pied, mugged off and if anyone is actually likely to find true love.

Coupled up

We’ve been waiting for the new islanders to get coupled up since the news of the Jani break up broke, we’re still not over it.

The Flack was back last night to introduce the islanders and see what they really thought of each other. After some awkward silences, Anna not being satisfied with anyone’s height, and Lucie waiting for someone with hair as good as hers, we were shown our first five couples.

ICYMI, or you can’t remember who’s who yet, our first couples are:

Anton and Amy

Yewande and Michael

Amber and Callum

Joe and Lucie

Anna and Sherif

We already had our eyes on Tommy Fury but, along with Curtis, he was nowhere to be seen as Anton hung on to Amy to stop her running for the hills.

It is what it is

Let’s be honest, in the Love Island villa there’s two types of people: Those looking for someone with a good personality, and those looking for someone with a good face.

Amber was pretty clear on what she was looking for, but after coupling up with Callum she hit a wall. A 28-year-old wall. Have you ever seen someone more horrified?

Callum has already been dubbed as this year’s Dr Alex, but now he has to face the fact that he’s apparently really, really old too.

But, as Michael would say, it is what it is.

Wandering eye

We wouldn’t be staying true to our Scottish heritage if we didn’t dedicate a portion of our thoughts to Airdrie’s very own Anton. We had high hopes for the Scottish gym owner despite his very serious medical condition.

Oh Anton, it was all fine until you told everyone your dating history and details about your hair removal process. We’re sure your mum is lovely, but there’s beauticians for that.

It ends up while you won’t find wandering eye on NHS Inform, it’s a real problem for Anton. It took mere minutes for him to ditch Amy and try it on with surfer Lucie. Good thing she’s #loyal and looking for someone more her type on paper.

All the drama

Just when we thought things couldn’t heat up anymore, the main event arrived.

Curtis and Tommy arrived in the villa leaving the lads more shocked than we were when Irn Bru changed their recipe.

We’re counting down the minutes until someone says they’re happy but could be happier and asks the new guys for a chat.

Now that night one is over, we’re gearing up to see who Curtis and Tommy couple up with tonight. Someone grab the popcorn.

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