Here we are, smack bang in the middle of exam season. You can see quadratic equations every time you close your eyes, you’ve got historical facts pouring out your ears and you’re still grappling with all those Shakespeare quotes from last week. It’s a time of stress, doom and seemingly never-ending gloom.
Amidst the horror of revision, there is some joy to be had. An explosion of light, colour, sequins and over the top glamour live from Denmark – ladies and gentlemen, it’s Eurovision time!
Yes, it’s cringey, it’s camp, and the music isn’t even any good, but when you need a little bit of sunshine in your study-filled life, Eurovision is the ultimate distraction. And we chuffing love it.
If you don’t believe us that the annual singing competition is the best thing since Abba’s substantial flares, let us tell you why you should be tuning into BBC One tomorrow night…
It’s so bad that it’s good
Let’s face it, we’re not going to see the next Kings of Leon or Calvin Harris up there on the Copenhagen stage. In fact, the vast majority of performers are absolutely terrible, in the worst, jaw-hanging open way. But that’s the beauty of it. It almost becomes a competition to see who can be the worst. We can also get all riled up over the Eastern Block voting for each other and nobody giving any sympathy votes to Britain.
Graham Norton
If we could have any chat show host as a best friend, it’d be Graham Norton. So having our favourite Irishman providing the hilariously cutting commentary over Europe’s best, bonkers performers is a dream come true. A fitting follow up to Terry Wogan, Graham gets more brilliant as the night goes on. Nothing to do with the never ending supply of wine by his side in Denmark, we’re sure.
Tweet all about it!
Eurovision got approximately 27 times better when Twitter arrived and we could all share our #eurovision thoughts with the WHOLE INTERNET. Beautiful. Give a shout out for every key change going, express outrage at those who haven’t tried and lol your socks off at the ridiculous costumes.
You can have a Euro party!
As soon as we typed that, we knew that our Eurovision love had gone too far, but what BETTER way to spend your Saturday night than with a Euro-themed gathering round the telly with your mates? Have some snacks from your favourite European countries, devise your own version of Eurovision bingo and get ready to get your groove on to the readymade soundtrack from the continent.
It’s practically geography revision
“Azerbai-what? Where? Shut up, Graham, that’s not even a country!”
The Song Contest is a little geography lesson in itself. Where the heck even is San Marino? No one knows! Whip out Google Maps (or an atlas if you’re old school) and try spot the country. An educational dimension that’ll make you feel better about ditching revision for the ten hours that the show’s on for.
Euro eccentrics
If Eurovision is anything to go by, the rest of Europe are absolutely barking mad. See this beauty from 2007:
Sparkly magic from Ukraine. This year, Belarus have got Teo singing a song about not wanting his girlfriend to call him ‘cheesecake’ (this is real life), Austria have got a bearded lady called Conchita Wurst and Poland’s performance is practically post-watershed material thanks to some weird clothes washing techniques. Europe, we salute you!
We might win it
According to reports, this year’s British entry Molly is in with a chance of winning – unheard of in the highly politicised world of Eurovision voting. Molly’s singalong anthem has grabbed the voters’ attention – but will they actually pick up the phone and give us a vote? Fingers crossed – we can’t handle nil points again…
Watch the Eurovision Song Contents Grand Final on BBC One, Saturday 10 May from 8pm to 11.25pm
Image: © BBC/Nicky Johnston
